(from my book "A Treasure Chest of Daddy's Adventure Stories" @1997)
Early Mornings
I love my Tyler Daves Browne. That little boy is quite a character. There is nothing he does not love about life, nothing … except for most kinds of vegetables and fruits and other healthy foods. But hey, that’s all right in the bigger scope of things. Tyler’s love for his family is what really takes my breath away. Ever since he was a little baby boy he has loved dearly his Mommy and big sister (… and me too!). Then along came his little sister, Rissa Roo. Tyler is so sweet to her. Getting down on her level and playing with her. Oh sure, there are squabbles but they always end in “I’m sorry for -----“, “Will you forgive me?”.
Tyler gets every bit out of life he can squeeze,
and he squeezes pretty hard. He loves to learn. I found him at 10:00 at night
one July evening in at his desk in his room. With just his lamp on he was
hunching over a pad of paper, pencil in hand.
With a stack full of pennies this kid was practicing his arithmetic. I
asked him what he was doing. “I want to be the best at math in my first grade
class next year”, he calmly replied. The summer was not even two weeks old and
this kid was hitting the books. He looked like a college senior crashing for
finals in the wee hours of the morning.
Tyler is always full speed ahead. His gear box has
no reverse, or neutral for that matter. Now don’t misunderstand me, he can slow
down. But his slow down is intentional, either to watch a movie or draw or play
in the sand box. Tyler is always doing something, he never gets bored. I really
admire that in Tyler because he just enjoys living so much. He is always up for
someone to join him in his ventures too. “Sure Dad, you can help me build a
tower!” “Sure Dad, I’ll go ride bikes with you!” “Sure Dad, you can help me
with a science experiment!” It was always “Sure, ……”. Joining-in gave me a
great way to get inside Tyler’s world and get to know him really, really well.
It seems the more things that we do together, the smoother things go between
us. I’m so glad to have him as a son. A relationship between a father and his
son is unique … and my son is unique. In reflection, I think I learn more and
more about my Heavenly Father by being a Daddy to Tyler, Caitlin and Rissa.
I was given a special surprise a bit ago that I
will never forget. You see, I get up pretty early for work, like 4:30 in the
morning. Early. Most of the year it is
dark and quiet that early in the morning. The house is still asleep. At most I
might see a hungry cat make their way downstairs. As far as people go, I have
the house to myself, which can be lonely, to tell you the truth. I have a usual
routine I follow. Shower, breakfast and then some quiet, prayer time and
devotional reading. It gets my day off on a good foot, so to speak.
Well, one chilly morning in the winter of 1996, as
I was about to sit down on the couch with a hot cup of coffee and my Bible, I
hear this pitter patter coming down the stairs. With blanket in tow and rubbing
his eyes, Tyler appears around the corner! “Hey, Tyler!”, I whisper. Now my
first parental reaction was to give him a kiss and tell him to head back up to
bed, lickity-split, and sleep for three more hours. But I didn’t. Tyler just
stood there and looked at me with his sleepy eyes and smiled his “Tyler smile”.
“Hi dad!” he whispered. I opened my arms and he came running towards me on the
couch and I gave him a big daddy bear hug. Quickly he curled up on the couch
and wrapped himself in his blanket and nuzzled his head up and under my arm.
There he laid, for about forty minutes. He was awake, never falling back to
sleep. His head slipped down on my lap and he grabbed my hand and motioned for
me to rub his hair. He just looked up into my eyes, and smiled. I just sat
there and held him close, stealing every moment I could. He didn’t want to
talk. He didn’t expect me to do anything except hold and comfort him. After
about ten minutes of quiet stillness I realized something that was odd about
what was happening. I had never held Tyler like this before. I had never been
so still, so calm with him before, at least since he could walk. As a baby,
sure. But never since. That is, until now.
For the duration of this time, we just hung out
together and watched out the living room window as the sun rose up over the
trees. It was like Tyler just showed up for a little cuddle time early in the
morning. Just me and him, he didn’t have to share me with anyone at all. I was
his. What Tyler didn’t realize was “he” was all mine. I didn’t have to share
him with anyone or anything either, no friends, toys, school. During the rest
of the day, in order to be with Tyler I have to catch up to him, go at his
speed and catch some time when I can. I have to deal with going to work, coming
home from work, dinner time, play time, bed time, after bed time, get back into
bed time. The pace around our house is fast, which is common for a house full
of kids 2, 6 and 8 years of age. So just sitting on the couch with Tyler was
great, early that morning, even though it sounds kind of plain and uneventful. It
was anything but.
After an hour or so I really did need to get to
work. Tyler walked me to the door and waved through the living room window as I
drove down the street, off to work. Back to bed he went. The next day Tyler
showed up at 5:00 again and sat with me until I left. This occurred a couple
more times that first week. Ever since that time, Tyler has been my morning
buddy, sitting with me in the wee hours of the day. What a great way for me to
start out the day. To spend some quiet time with my son, just him and me and no
one else. Nothing much is said, but a lot is communicated. I hold him, he lets
me hold him. He looks at me and says volumes with his quiet, gentle eyes. A
couple of weeks ago, on an early Friday morning, I was reading my Bible and
Tyler was right next to me. When it was time to go I started to get up. Tyler
said “Don’t go Daddy. Can you read from the Psalms?” “OK Tyler, of course. How
about Psalm 23?” I replied. How could I say no?! Tyler then changed his mind,
“No actually, the book of John”. “OK, which is your favorite chapter?”, I said.
“No, read the whole book, Dad”, Tyler answered. So I read John chapter 4. He
wanted me to read to him, but was very particular. He could have chosen some
other book, some other story. Tom Sawyer was right there on the coffee table.
He chose God’s word. Now this kind of happening occurs often between me and my
son. That’s why I think these times in the morning are God appointed times for
Tyler and me, so I take them seriously.
Now he doesn’t always show up. Sometimes I spend my early morning thirty
minutes on the couch alone. Listening all the while for the pitter patter of
Tyler’s little feet to come down the stairs and his sleepy eyes to appear
around the corner. But he doesn’t always come down. I guess that is all the
more reason why I cherish the times he does
come down. To sit on the couch together. Me and my son.
I got to thinking that Friday a couple of weeks
ago. John 1:12 talks about being children, being children of God.
Yet to all who
receive him, to those who believe in his name, he gave the right to become
children of God. John 1:12
Do I come to God the Father in the way Tyler comes
to me early in the morning, excited to be spending the wee hours of the morning
just with me? Am I excited of spending time alone with my Heavenly Father? Do I
look forward to being comforted by the Lord without expectation, without words
being spoken, just to be in His presence? I guess I don’t when I think of the
look in Tyler’s sleepy eyes turning the corner and his face beaming with a big
“Tyler smile”. Tyler has commitment to those early mornings. Sure he could be
snoozing in between the warm blankets, but he values being with me so much that
he wants to start his day with me. Am
I that way with my relationship with the Lord? How many times do I decide to
sleep in an extra thirty minutes and eat breakfast in the car, going from sleep
to shower to car to work in one giant sweeping motion? The answer is much too
often.
It was not until I noticed how I miss it when Tyler
doesn’t come down, that I realized how my Heavenly Father must feel. He made me
in His image, fatherly emotions and all. He must have those same fatherly
emotions as well. I learn so much by being Tyler’s Father, Tyler’s Daddy. I do
value my relationship with God, and I want to start each day with Him, before
the hustle of the day gets going. In the tone of John chapter one, verse
twelve.
Tyler, thanks for coming down early in the morning
and spending time together, for sharing quiet times and the stillness of life.
As I comfort you with a big arm around your shoulder, or a hand through your
hair, just know that there is a bigger arm around both of our shoulders, the
Lord’s arm comforting both of us as we spend those wee hours of the morning
with the Creator of the morning. I love you, Tyler. I love you, Lord. Life is a
great adventure when it starts with the two of you.
